Let it Out: Stop Stuffing Emotions (You are not a Thanksgiving Turkey)

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Down below is a poem I wrote last Monday. Usually, when I am upset, I try to distract myself by not thinking about the situation. I stuff my emotions until I get overly upset at the smallest thing and explode with rage. Quite frankly I’m tired of feeling the way I do when I ignore how I am feeling. So, I decided to do something different.

This time I let how I was feeling out and told myself I would be okay. I know this tactic will not work with everyone and it might not work all the time. However, it helped me when I was feeling overwhelmed. If you or someone you know stuffs their emotions, I hope you are able to find this post valuable.

 

I Am Hurting Today

I am hurting today

The skies are dark and gray

Tears fall from my eyes like the rain in the forecast

My heart is broken and eyes downcast

Even so, I know I will be okay

 

Living in a world where we try to numb the pain

Through various methods like drugs, food, or games

 

We are made to believe uncomfortable emotions are weak because they hurt

They say not to wallow in the dirt

Get up and stand strong

If you continue to be unhappy, you will end up alone

 

What if we were told to let it out?

Get through the emotions, scream, and shout

Suppressing pain is only causing more heartache

Feel the emotions, learn how not to break

 

Would we be more at ease within ourselves?

Not suppressing the emotions causing inner hell

Controlling emotions is one of the keys

To unlock your potential and finding your destiny

 

Next time you find yourself feeling blue

Remind yourself these are normal feelings flowing through you

 

When your rage starts to ignite

Remember you are in control of the light

When your jealousy starts to glow green

Remember to look behind the scenes

 

These feelings are normal, cannot you see

Keep going, have faith, and believe

If you are hurting today

Just know it will be okay

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Emotions are Normal

From a young age, I learned how to keep my thoughts to myself, avoid conflict, and smile through whatever was hurting me. No one cared about the problems I was going through, or at least that is what I thought and was made to believe.

This thought pattern made it to where I would bottle up emotions, pain, wrongdoings of others, and just accept it. That is until I could no longer accept the pain and would explode with rage over the smallest things.

Personally, I believe bottling feelings seems as natural as breathing air in today’s world. However, I am here to tell you it is not natural to suppress all the emotions you dislike. Or finding something to distract yourself from whatever feeling you are going through. Hurt, pain, conflict, disagreements, sadness, jealousy, these are all normal feelings.

 

The Magical Water Jug

Think of an empty jug of water. Now imagine it starts filling with water each time an emotion comes up that you try to suppress. Guarantee your jug is going to fill quickly if you are a suppresser. When you keep adding water (unwanted emotions) to your jug you notice it begins to leak out of the top, overflowing. So, you decide to put a cap on the jug (building a wall around yourself). However, this is not an ordinary jug, as it magically fills each time you feel an unwanted emotion and suppress it. Before you know it your jug cracks and shatters from the pressure of the amount of water collected.

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We are not meant to suppress emotions. We are very much like this magical filling water jug in the paragraph above. If we hold too much in, eventually it is going to come out. Sometimes in very unhealthy ways.

In order to truly get through something, you have to be upfront, open, and willing to feel the uncomfortable emotions. You have to reassure yourself that you will be okay and to continue to keep trying to overcome your personal hardships. Facing them one moment at a time and looking within, regardless of how you feel, and find the root to your hurting.

 

Common Example

Imagine you are at work, ugh work I know but just hang in there with me for a second. Imagine that your boss is very reliant on you because they know you will get everything done on time. Your boss trusts you and you feel important and proud she depends on you to get things done. However, it is starting to become more frequent and you begin to become overloaded. What do you do?

  • Keep quiet and suffer through, hoping your boss will let up soon?
  • Complain to your coworkers, family, and friends?
  • Let your boss know she is overloading you and ask if there is any way you two can come to a compromise?
  • Get so fed up you quit?

Of course, the sensible choice would be to let your boss know how you feel. However, many of us would rather do one of the other three options because letting someone in a higher position than you can feel uncomfortable, so it becomes suppressed.

If you do not let others know how something is affecting, you then you cannot expect them to magically know. Yes, it is uncomfortable and nerve-wracking to open up and let others know how you feel, but if you don’t then you are going to continue to feel like you are.

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Another Example

Here is another example. Imagine you and your best friend are spending time together and they say something that honestly bothers you. Something that goes against your personal values, and makes you question them as a person. You know bringing up how you feel is going to possibly cause them to become defensive. What do you do?

  • Ignore your own feelings and try to forget what they said?
  • Change the subject?
  • Calmly express your concerns to your friend and be prepared to walk away if they get too defensive and talk about it when they calm down?
  • Stop hanging out with them altogether?

Again, the third option would be the most sensible, however, a lot of people would rather do one of the other three options out of fear of possibly losing a friend.

Yes, there is a possibility of losing a friend and yes that would hurt. However, if you do not talk to your friend and express how you feel then you could end up losing them in the long run, especially if you are now questioning them as a person.

Honestly, when scenarios like this occur there is miscommunication somewhere along the lines. Maybe your friend worded themselves wrong and you started making assumptions. This happens often, heck I just went through miscommunication with a very close friend. Luckily, we talked through it, sat through the awkward conversation, and came out on top. Granted all outcomes are not like that.

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Ways to Get the Pint Up Emotions Out

Personally, I believe we should learn how to let disliked emotions flow through us. If you are sad then be sad, if you are angry, be angry, if you are jealous be jealous. However, I will say do not let these emotions take over and control you. Emotions are a part of us; however, they are not us as a whole. It is easy to fall into the trap of letting emotions take complete control. Learn how to identify the emotions you are feeling and remind yourself this feeling, whatever it may be, is temporary. That you are the one in control.

I understand many people have a hard time controlling emotions and it can feel like a losing battle. However, I am here to say it is doable. Here are a few ways I use to help me. Again, these are ways that have helped me and may or may not help you.

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  • Talking it out
  • Journaling
  • Talking to a professional
  • Drawing, writing, anything creative
  • Reading self-help books.
  • Cry
  • Scream into a pillow
  • Write a letter to who or what made you upset and rip it up as a symbol of letting go
  • Be upfront with yourself and others about how you are feeling

 

Conclusion

Suppressing how you feel can cause complicated feelings in the long run, like getting angry at something very small because you already have a lot of emotions stuffed down. We are not meant to continuously disregard our feelings, even if they are uncomfortable.  There are ways to help overcome suppressing feelings like journaling, crying it out, screaming into a pillow, and more. Having a creative outlet is also another very powerful way to help get pint up emotions out of the mind and into something more productive.

Thank You

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this post, you guys are awesome. Also, thank you to everyone who likes, comments, and supports Maybe Crazy Help’s mission to spread light, love, and reassurance on the subject of mental health.

Additional

I have some very exciting news, next month the first video for Maybe Crazy Help’s YouTube channel will be up!! There was supposed to be a video up already, however, I ran into a few technical difficulties with the website and everything became postponed.

Now that the website is fixed I am able to put the time I used in fixing the website into videos for those who prefer video over reading. There will be a post with the channel link here soon, as you cannot find the channel as of now. ( I believe I have to have at least 1-3 videos up to appear in the searches).

Also, a friendly reminder, we are still collecting letters and cards to be delivered to shelters for Christmas. We have collected 447 cards so far! Additionally, there will be a card and letter count video every 3 months on the YouTube Channel so you guys can see I am doing as I promise. Too many people are out here taking advantage of others and I want to reassure those who have bought a card or sent a letter know I am being true to my word.

If you are interested in sending a letter or card of hope to someone, you can find all the information on the post What Can a Letter Do?

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“Together we will make a difference. We just have to find our voices and let them be heard from the highest mountain top to the lowest valley.” -Crystal Grasso (Ward)

 

 

 

 

 

 

11 Comments on “Let it Out: Stop Stuffing Emotions (You are not a Thanksgiving Turkey)

  1. I can totally identify with everything you said in this post. I used to be a person that would bottle things up inside, because I too felt that no one would really care. I did have my parents to talk to, but outside of them I had no one and usually if I tried to open up about what I was feeling, it seemed like no one really cared to listen. Some years ago I started keeping a journal and writing down my thoughts in there. I would reread the pages and discover so much about myself I never knew and I used that as a way of healing and changing things in my life, as well as myself. So when you spoke of the water jug and the boss overwhelming us with work, I understood deeply what you meant.

    Thank you for writing such a powerful, encouraging and enlightening post about expressing our feelings and letting things out. I agree, it’s perfectly okay to FEEL. If we don’t feel, we’ve become robots with flesh.

    • Thank you so much for your kind reply. The feeling of being emotionally overwhelmed can be a bit much. Journaling is an amazing tool to utilize. Many people overlook how much it can help. Honestly, I refused to journal for years because a therapist I did not get along with asked me to journal (stubbornness at its finest lol). Looking back now I wish I would have given the idea a chance. Many people try to suppress so much without realizing we are not meant to hold all the turmoil in. I personally believe we are meant to get through the rough patches in our lives and reach back and help others who are experiencing similar situations of hardship. Life can be brutal but it can also be beautiful.

      • You are so very welcome, Crystal. Journaling has definitely helped me so much and I can always go back and read my thoughts and feelings after some time has passed to see if I’ve made progress in those areas of my life that need it. It helps me get stuff out, without holding it all in. So happy to read that you’ve found healthy ways of dealing with your feelings and helping others along the way. 🙂

  2. Its impossible to stay composed while carrying emotions. If you can find that balance that you are talking here, then your emotions are not real or genuine.

  3. Pingback: Staying Composed While Carrying Emotions Is Impossible | Notes

  4. Hi! I don’t always leave a comment but I do read you blog often and I wanted you know I’m your blog is here! It’s helped me. I was given a chance to nominate my favorite blogger for The Sunshine Blogger Award and I picked you!!

    • Wow! Thank you so much and congratulations on your nomination as well! I’m so happy to hear Maybe Crazy Help has helped you. This means a lot and helps remind me to keep going even when things start to look down. I really enjoy your blog, I read through some of your posts and was captivated by your words and realness you bring to your blog. Thank you once more and I look forward to reading more of your posts.

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