Poems and Stories, Self-Help

Don’t Let Fear Rule You: Spread Your Wings and Fly

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Things can be frightening when you start something new. The uncomfortable feeling of the unknown can become overwhelming at times. Like leaving home to go to college; or moving to a new place in general. Fear is a well-known emotion, though you should never let fear keep you from achieving your dreams and reaching for the sky. After all, how are go going to soar through the sky and live your dreams if you’re afraid to try?

The poem down below is a poem I wrote one day when doing a poetry 30-day prompt challenge. I will include the challenge prompt down below just in case you are interested in trying it out for yourself. Though I am not the creator of this prompt challenge and all credit of the challenge goes to the creator.

Spread your Wings

Spread your wings little bird

Do not be afraid to fly

I know it is frightening

Way up high

Flap your wings

Leave the nest

Keep reaching for your dreams, little bird

you will pass this test

Soon you will soar high in the sky

So, spread your wings little bird

Do not be afraid to fly

As someone who let fear rule her life for a very long time, I decided to write a post about it. Along with some of the ways that help me overcome the fearful moments in my life; to hopefully help others overcome and conquer their own. Keep reading down below if you would like to read what fear is, how to overcome personal doubts, how overcoming uncertainties are beneficial to you, and how you can help guide others.

 What is Fear?

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According to the online Merriam-Webster Dictionary, fear is 1a: an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger

b(1): an instance of this emotion

(2): a state marked by this emotion

2: anxious concern: SOLICITUDE

3: profound reverence and awe especially toward God

4: a reason for alarm: DANGER

In my own words, fear is the rapid pitter-patter your heart makes when you start something new, see something that frightens you, or the uncertainty that comes along with life. Unfortunately, fear is an emotion that can easily rule your life if you let it.

Common reactions to fear

  • Sweaty Palms
  • Freezing in your tracks
  • Rapid heartbeat
  • Excessive worry
  • Hyperventilation
  • Becoming frantic
  • Not thinking clearly to evaluate certain situations
  • Panic attacks

Normal Vs. Non-Normal Fears

There are fears that are normal, that have little effect in your everyday life, and then there are some that stop you cold in your tracks. Down below I have provided examples of normal fears and some that can cause a lot of anxiety, uncertainty, and frustration that make simple tasks difficult.

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Normal:

  • Spiders, snakes, creepy crawlies
  • Clowns
  • Heights
  • Animals

Non-Normal:

  • People
  • Transportation
  • Water to the extent you are afraid to bathe
  • Being in public

Remember, what I mean by not normal is how they can affect your everyday life. For example, I have a deep fear of people. You could imagine some of the difficulties I had before I started working on that fear. Making and keeping friends was one of the challenges I faced. When I would make a friend, I would push them away unintentionally due to the fear of abandonment or rejection. I’ve come to notice when you are afraid of something it usually ties into a greater fear.

Identifying and Conquering Fears

One way to identify the deeper part of your fear is by writing it down and understanding the possible reasons why you are afraid. By identifying the root of the fear, you can start working on overcoming what frightens you. Here are some ways to help you identify the greater fear:

  • Write down what scares you
  • Write down why you are frightened
  • Research fears related to your own
  • Write down things you can do when you become afraid
  • Think back to your childhood, could there be an event that correlates with your fear
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Writing down your feelings is an excellent way to get what is in your mind out onto paper, or if you prefer, a digital diary. When you write or type something out you can keep it for reference. The human mind can only withhold so much information at a time,  often when we think of something important it becomes easily forgotten.

Additionally, researching fears related to your own often leads to finding unexpected solutions and good advice in overcoming frightful moments in your life. Here are a few things I personally do to overcome some of my fears:

  • I take a deep breath and often face them head on
  • CBD Oil helps calm my anxiety, thus calming some of my more irrational fears (like being in public)
  • Journaling how I feel before and after doing something that frightens me
  • Have a plan for when I go into panic attacks
  • Reminding myself I am okay and to take deep breaths when becoming panicky
  • Having a supportive friend

Remember, these are some of the tactics I use and may or may not work for you. Identifying the root and conquering fears is very doable, it just takes some mind power, reassurance, and patience. However, I will say the fear will be in the back of your mind from time to time, it’s learning how to not let that fear take control.

 Why Overcoming Fears is Beneficial 

Some of you might be sitting there wondering why overcoming fears is helpful in your everyday life. Why not just avoid that certain thing? Honestly, you can’t go about life avoiding things all the time, more than likely you’ll often find that when you are trying to avoid certain things, they pop up unexpectedly. Learning to overcome fears can help in the following ways:

  • Feeling more confident
  • Feeling a great sense of accomplishment
  • Becoming mentally stronger
  • The ability to help others through similar fears
  • Being able to react rationally when certain things appear/happen
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Now, I am not saying go outside and try to catch a snake barehanded or go into a crowded area talking to everyone you see. Start small, like going to a zoo and having a snake handler let you touch a snake. Or make it a small goal to compliment one person you do not know, every time you go out. By giving a small compliment, you are making some else’s day while working on social anxiety if you have it.

There are many benefits when it comes to conquering fears, the ones mentioned above are just a few from the top of my head. If you let fear rule you, it becomes hard to live the life you truly want and can cause things like depression, anxiety, stress, etc. Remember, fear is a normal response to alarming situations. However, if it is hindering you in any way, it needs to be addressed so you can move forward in life.

Helping a Loved One Through Their Own Fears

Sometimes it is not us who are needing guidance through fear, it is a loved one. Helping someone through their own fears can be hard at times, and frustrating when you do not know how to help them. Personally, when I would become afraid in the past, I would often become defensive, making it hard for friends to want to help me. Luckily, I realized my behaviors and started working on becoming a better person. So, how do you help someone through their own fears, especially when they can become a handful? Here are some ways my loved ones helped me:

  • They let me know when I was becoming defensive. By letting me know how I was reacting to certain things, I was able to realize that I did not want to keep displaying that type of behavior. It gave me more of a reason to want to conquer my fears, especially my irrational fear of people.
  • When going to a crowded place they would go with me and reassure me I was okay. Within time, they started walking away from me in public, reassuring me they would be nearby. This helped me so much with my social anxiety. I still get rapid heartbeats at times, but I am able to go into a store by myself now for a short period of time, which is a major accomplishment.
  • Constantly reassuring me when needed. I know it can become annoying, but those who are seeking help, it really does help ease our mind.
  • They never made me feel as if I were crazy, irrational, or unimportant.
  • When I needed to talk, they were always there.

Here are a few more ways you can help:

  • Ask them what helps calm them when they become panicky.
  • Never make their fear seem stupid or unreal. It is very real to them and if they are trying to overcome something the last thing, they need is to feel like their fear is nothing.
  • Share something you were fearful of and how you overcame it.

Being there for someone when they are in need of guidance is an amazing thing to do. By being someone they can go to in a time of need, you are helping them accomplish so much without the fear of being judged. Everyone needs a guiding hand at some point in their life.

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Conclusion

Fear is a normal response to frightful situations, things, or events. By identifying the deeper meaning to the fear at hand you are able to gauge where you need to start with working on overcoming said fear. This is beneficial in many ways including having a rational mind when the thing that frightens you pops up. You will be able to handle the situation in a calmer manner. Furthermore, if you keep avoiding certain fears it can cause depression, anxiety, and stress.

Additionally, helping others through their own struggles is an amazing thing to do. By being there in an unjudging manner, you become a rock they can lean on when things get overwhelming. You can help your loved ones through certain fears by sharing your own, along with the way you handle being afraid.

Most importantly, never let fear keep you from achieving your dreams.

Additional

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Thank you for taking time out of your day to read this post, I hope you were able to find useful information. Furthermore, thank you to everyone who follows, supports, comments, and encourages me to continue on my blogging journey of helping others. You guys are awesome.

A friendly reminder, we are collecting letters and cards in time for Christmas to deliver to homeless shelters, VA centers, women and children centers, group homes, and hospitals. If you are interested in sending a card or letter of hope you can find all the information in What Can a Letter Do? So far we have collected 259 cards!!

All constructive criticism is greatly appreciated, I am new to blogging and would love to hear feedback. This is all a learning process and any advice is more than welcomed.

Also, I created two new pages last month. My Art, which is a gallery of some of my drawings with quotes from the shows or movies attached to them that correlate with the drawn character. In the near future, I plan on writing a small 500-1000 word fan fiction short story that has a small lesson behind it regarding mental health. Though it is just an idea for now.

My second page is a page of self-written Quotes that I often come up with during meditating. Be sure to check them out and let me know what you think.

Quote 18

References 

Fear. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fear

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8 thoughts on “Don’t Let Fear Rule You: Spread Your Wings and Fly”

    1. I loved your post! You are 100% right on being able to control fear, just as you said fear is only an illusion. We can choose to focus on what we can control and let go of what we can not. Though that can be easier said than done, but with time and determination, it’s doable. I’m definitely going to check out more of your posts, you have such thoughtful and meaningful writings. Thank you so much for reading and commenting on this post.

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