Shortly after I posted Come Share Your Inspirational Story at Maybe Crazy Help, a kindhearted gentleman from the UK emailed me and let me know he was interested in submitting a guest post. We emailed back and forth for a few days and he told me some of the things he’s endured in life and how he uses blogging as a form of inner healing and a way to help inspire others. He was able to guest post on a blog prior, his story is such an inspiration and a reminder of no matter what life throws at you, you can always get back up and continue to fight back.
“Hi there, I’m Lee.
Very new to blogging but I’m getting there, piece by piece, literally. I write from the heart, use my past issues and demons and put them down in words. I tend to rhyme but do intend to write the story behind myself. I’ve started but nowhere near even scratched the surface. I was the father to 3 babies who all sadly passed away. This broke me as a father. I strive forward each day, I’m also half blind due to an attack, suffer other injuries but that didn’t stop me becoming a black belt in karate. I’ll post a couple of my blogs here for you and hopefully, you’ll check my other poems out. Thanks for your time.”
Touched by his first email I wrote him back and let him know I would be honored to share his story on Maybe Crazy Help. I enjoyed reading through his blog posts. His blog is unique, inspiring, and heartfelt. The poetic touch and beautiful pictures are heart capturing. A day later I received another email from Mr. Wright, going deeper into his journey through life. As I read the email my heart ached for him, as a parent of a rainbow baby (a baby born after a miscarriage), I could not imagine losing my little boy. I could not envision the pain and heartache he had endured.
“I’d love to have someone message me and say, hi there, I read your post and wow you’ve actually made my day.
My poems are raw, honest and deep, mixed with negative and positive aspects. I travel back in time when I write, occasionally breaking down as I relive a sad episode, but my writing is like my personal therapist. I started my blog in March this year, I’d started writing towards the end of 2018.
I was always saying yeah, I’m ok or not too bad. Never ever have I sat down and poured my heart out. I think over the years I’ve been programmed to be a hard nut to crack, they all say men should be strong and impregnable but that’s just ignorance of yesterday’s thoughts. Since writing I’ve really opened up, yes it still hurts to talk openly but I’ve been carrying my baggage for over 20 years now so it’s hard to let the words out but writing my thoughts and feelings, well that’s a different story. I absolutely love writing. Only wish I’d started years ago and not kept all this mayhem trapped inside.
After I lost my third child, Kirsty, she was almost 3. She was my little princess. I loved her to bits, a real little daddy’s girl. I was on holiday in Kos, Greece. I was married back then. Well, the horror struck 3 days before we were due to leave. I was saying goodbye to a German couple who were leaving that night. The kids playing very close by, I turned around and saw Kirsty playing and then all of a sudden, I remember not hearing her. I turned around and couldn’t see her, all of a sudden, a child screamed, she’s in the jacuzzi, she’s fell in. I couldn’t even believe what I was hearing. I flew towards her and quickly dragged her from the water. Adrenaline was pumping through my veins, I desperately tried to resuscitate her, but she had already taken in too much water and her tiny body had given up.
Writing this yet again sent the tears flowing but it always gets me when I get deep into my thoughts. I had become a father twice before, Katie was premature and weighed less than a bag of sugar, she was tiny. Sadly, she became ill and a stomach infection proved too much for such a little girl. Brandon was born stillborn and didn’t have a chance. I’m now an uncle to an ever-growing family and also a grandad, a title I love.
My past as definitely been an uphill battle but one I’ve learned from, dealt with issues not meant to be dealt with and faced more sadness than I ever imagined. Life just isn’t fair at times but it’s how you carry on that makes you the person of today
So, I try my best these days, I work in a job I don’t really want to do anymore so that needs addressing very soon, I train in karate 3 times a week, this calms any issues usually. I get out as much as possible and take pics of beautiful sunsets. A brilliant past time of mine and when I’m not doing any of the above or looking after Ava, my granddaughter or spending time with my family well I’m writing.”
Through everything Lee went through, he still continued to get up and fight for brighter days while inspiring others. I caught myself wondering why life can be so cruel at times, especially to those who did not do anything but love. I realized it was to help others.
Lee’s journey through life can help others who may be experiencing the loss of a child, those who feel like they cannot go on, realize they can push through the pain and continue to pay it forward and help others through this heartbreaking experience later on.
We all go through so much in life, when we come together and help heal one another we grow spiritually. Life is tough, reaching down and helping others through similar pain is a beautifully inspiring thing to do.
A few days had passed since the last email (I was overcoming a cold), I received another heart touching email:
“Hi there, me again. So, a good sleep, the sun’s shining and I now have my reading glasses.
Since writing my blog and posting to social media like Facebook, I feel some people think I’m about to end myself. My past issues are not known to all, well they weren’t but since opening my mind and starting “Inside My Mind, My Darkest Journal” I’ve had friends, family asking if I’m OK. My blog really is about my life and past ordeals so has I smile back and say yes, I’m fine I still hide the broken parts. I try so hard each day to walk with my past, sometimes away from it, some days hand in hand with the demons that haunt me.
I was recently asked why I’m so rubbish at remembering dates, birthdays and generally any upcoming event. I purposely stop myself from remembering dates to some it’s ignorant or I just don’t care. Thing is the real point is dates to me cripple me, I’ve had so many days over the years that have crushed me that if I was to spread those dates around my head I’d be in a permanent state of hell. I kind of know something personal is looming but I refuse to let it own me. I’ve been a slave to the pain and heartache for too long.
One example is my daughter’s birthday would fall on the 17th December, she fell asleep on the 3 November, so I won’t even think or try not to think about Christmas until at least the 17th has passed. Puts me on last minute for presents but it’s a coping mechanism that helps me, so I use it. Has a result of this way of thinking I forget everyone’s special dates, I feel bad for it but having a large family I’m usually reminded in enough time, usually.
Life can be hard, pitfalls that seem to swallow your dreams but it’s how you smile at your demons that make you or break you.
Inside My Mind, My Darkest Journal continues and journey well who knows what’s next but I’m looking forward to it.
Lee lives with this sadness every day; some days are a lot harder than others, but he has learned how to cope with some of the pain through his blogging. His loved ones clearly worry about him, because he’s opening up and releasing his emotions through writing.
Sometimes when we are trying to express ourselves through traumatic events, our loved ones start to worry. It can be a very scary feeling for those on the outside looking in because they don’t know how to approach us or understand the feelings we are trying released.
He expresses some of the other coping mechanisms he has come to gain during times where things are harder to cope with. He expresses how he had to force himself to become forgetful of dates because remembering some of the dates that come to pass are too painful.
“My journal and journey continue, I was once asked to write about my past, how I am today and how I kind of fixed the broken pieces. Angela, my partner, has always been there and tried to push me in the right direction. I try to listen but sometimes my past takes me down difficult directions.
I just keep going forward with a few detours along the way, I’ll eventually get there.
I was online not too long ago and came across a blogger that was after people who had gone through and living with depression, anxiety and other issues, her name is Mariah Harris. I sent her my poem “Sad Tones” and from that became a guest blogger for the first time ever, my writing had inspired someone to actually spend time to acknowledge my thoughts, my words.
It made me very proud of myself. This has created a mindset that my issues put into words can let others relate, learn and feel less alone. We all fight our personal demons but if we learn to walk alongside them, we become better versions of the ones before it all became broken.
Learning about his lovely partner filled my heart with joy knowing he has a special someone who is there to be his rock and guide him through the toughest days. Having someone to help through mental anguish helps in so many ways.
Dealing with very heartbreaking and traumatic things can make us become defensive and not want to listen to others at times. Just as Mr. Wright says, “I try to listen but sometimes my past takes me down difficult directions.” However, having that one person there through everything, who is understanding, loving, and forgiving; makes things a lot easier to cope.
Mr. Wright had the opportunity to guest post prior to guest posting on Maybe Crazy Help. His words touch and inspire so many, I am beyond grateful he reached out and asked to guest post on this website. I was led to ask him if he would like me to compose a guest post for him, or if he would like to compose one himself.
Thanks for your kind words. You made a huge smile appear on my face whilst reading. I’d love it if you would write it, too read someone else’s views around how they perceived my approach. It’s very inspiring to think someone is going to write on my behalf. Links to my site would be fantastic. I’m really looking forward to reading my guest blog written by yourself. I put a lot of personal feelings into my writing, all comes from the heart and my demons that try their very best to change my outlook on life, just glad I’m a strong individual. I know a lot of people who aren’t so lucky. I hope you’re feeling a lot better now. I’ve just finished a 3-hour karate session so need a nice relaxed evening to rewind a little. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.
A very excited L D Wright”
I decided to do a mix of both. His words are powerful, moving, and inspirational. I, myself, could not capture the right words, for I have not lived in his shoes. Getting to know Lee, I learned so much:
- No matter what life throws at you, you can always fight back and become a guiding light to help others out of the dark.
- While the sadness still remains activities like Karate, photographing, and spending time with loved ones helps alleviate the heartache
- Having that one person who sticks by you through thick and thin are truly a beautiful blessing
- You can make peace and walk alongside your demons to become a better version of yourself
- Sometimes our coping tools we develop do not make sense to others, but that is okay as long as they are not destructive.
I am beyond honored to have such a wonderful person to guest post on Maybe Crazy Help. I truly believe his story will touch thousands of hearts and help many through dark times. I have included the emailed links to some of his latest work on his website down below. Definitely go check out his heartfelt blog Inside my Mind. My Darkest Journal and subscribe.
Beautiful Blog Posts By Lee Wright: